In Tweet Your Kids, I wrote “Ever think ‘I should write that down’ when your child says something funny?”
I use Twitter for that. Here’re some Tweet-worthy comments from my boys.
Seven-year-old Zachary
The Momma: “Zachary got his first cup today.” Zach: “I don’t want to get hit in the wiener.”
Zach dropped a candy in the car, asked for another. When he dropped that one too, he said, “I guess I won’t be having that one either!”
Was telling Zach about how wolves were the monsters of their day + could snatch a child. Zach: “What, they had thumbs?
Proud of Zach talking back to the commercial about something ‘free.’ “No, not free! It’s an advertisement. They want your money.”
Zach prays, thanks God for his name. Why? “Because w/o a name, everyone would just be, like, ‘hello…?'”
Dad playing an online game, losing, saying, “I’ll never win.” Zach: “You’ve got to believe in yourself.”
“I know why the Tooth Fairy leaves money. It’s b/c fairies are so tiny that my tooth looks like a brick they can use to build walls.”
Zach: “Write something on Twitter!” Dad: “I don’t have anything to say.” Zach: “Write about your armpit.”
Dad (trying to figure out a Cracker Jack prize): “They make these difficult to understand.” Zach: “Do as much as you can and give it to Mom.”
Dad: “Zach, did you have breakfast?” Zach: “I had some bread while I taught Lukey about stocks.”
Zach on diarrhea: “I pooped in my pants and it melted.”
Five-year-old Lucas
“Thank you, God, for foodness so we can put it in our mouths.”
“Daddy, I’m dressed!” Dad: “That’s excellent! Your shirt’s on backwards.”
“When I get big I’m going to punish someone!”
“Um, Daddy? Momma took the fish and put him in the potty.”
“Momma gave me this new phone! And now it’s going to get old.”
Lukey’s idea about how to change a light bulb: “Dad, you just put Momma on your back so she can reach it.”
“Dad! Don’t videotape me! Just do your work, would you?!”
Wearing my robe, drove 5yo Lucas to his carpool. “Dad, are you going to get changed? I don’t want them to laugh at my Dad!”
“Momma, are those your chesties? Are they your private parts?”
Lukey: “Dad, where are you?” Dad: “I’m at work. I have to get the money.” Lukey: “Oh, OK. I’ll see you tonight.”
The Momma: “Lukey, be careful with the ornaments!” Lukey: “I’ll be so a lot of careful!”
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I get a lot of comments from engaged followers. Give it a try.
Joe Hage
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